December is such a beautiful month. For me, its the best month of the year. A bad year ends, hoping for a better one ahead. A good year ends, giving hope another chance. But apart from the colours and the light perfumed breeze, December is about the beautiful sky. A sky filled with millions of clear sparkling stars and dreams. A sky, i cannot stop gazing at. A sky, i cannot stop dreaming about. Here's an ode to the december sky.. .. .. ..
You're under a december sky,
when you look at a star through the branches of a tree.
You're under a december sky,
when you let the breeze kiss your face, wild and free.
You're under a december sky,
when time stands still, for just he and she.
You're under a december sky,
when the street lights shine only for you.
You're under a december sky,
when you see the morning dew.
You're under a december sky,
when you dream the same dream, but this time its new.
You're under a december sky,
when you just miss the sunset.
You're under a december sky,
when you don't mind it at all and you don't fret.
You're under a december sky,
when you're lookin' at the many colors left by the sunset.
You're under a december sky,
when a moon is a neighbor to a million stars.
You're under a december sky,
when you're in a battle, fighting wars.
You're under a december sky,
when her smile can kill the scars.
You're under a december sky,
when a filmmaker is telling his story
You're under a december sky,
when you reunite with them all.
You're under a december sky,
when you're at the beach, near the rocks, praying for a free fall.
You're under a december sky,
when your phone stops ringing with numbers, calling you for an evening at froth.
You're under a december sky,
when you leave them all, with a promise to come back, after walking a mile.
You're under a december sky,
when the breeze fills your eyes, your soul, your smile.
You're under a december sky,
when good ol boys are drinking, singin', wishin' to stay alive.
You're under a december sky,
when you laugh at ol' jokes, passing a high five.
You're under a december sky,
when a stranger makes you think, makes you realize.
You're under a december sky,
when you see the sight of two brothers reuniting with a sister.
You're under a december sky,
when we all clap for floating bawa, as he commits.
You're under a december sky,
when you see it happen, at home.
You're under a december sky,
when you hear someone say, 'don't let curly hair get away'
You're under a december sky,
when you can smell 'curly hair', but pretend to smell her perfume.
You're under a december sky,
when you listen to 'i love a rainy night'
You're under a december sky,
when you're actually in a rainy night
You're under a december sky,
when you can't say what you need to say.
You're under a december sky,
when you go away, but promise to stay.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
From here unto there..
Today, I took part in my first funeral in Saudi Arabia. I didn't know the person, I don't even know his name nor had I seen him before but it still pricked and it numbed and it sobered me with a sprinkle of humbleness.
Apparently, screeching rubber and searing turns with a gravel turn table resulted in putting a full-stop to his physical presence, an interim in those that loved him and a hyperlink to a new adventure for his soul.
This though hasn't been my first. I have been a part of my Gran' Pa's but have missed out on a lot of other passing-ons primarily due to the physical distance. This was different in some aspects.
I realized that in this part of the world, graves are un-marked as it is against the 'school of thought' to do otherwise. I was also given a small pictoral demonstration of how the grave is dug and structured to ease decomposition, prevent the stench from coming out and protection from scavenging animals should there be any. I was part of a tradition that I was very honored to be a part of.
The calmness and the composure exhibited by the person I knew, whose kin was lying a few feet away as he greeted the mourners. Calmness which I'm not very sure I would be able to possess should we trade shoes, God forbid. I tried to pass on as much warmth as a hug and some hollow words could - I hope he's warm.
I wonder if 'he' saw us from above, perched upon a cloud. Wishful thinking, many would say and I would most likely agree.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this..
Apparently, screeching rubber and searing turns with a gravel turn table resulted in putting a full-stop to his physical presence, an interim in those that loved him and a hyperlink to a new adventure for his soul.
This though hasn't been my first. I have been a part of my Gran' Pa's but have missed out on a lot of other passing-ons primarily due to the physical distance. This was different in some aspects.
I realized that in this part of the world, graves are un-marked as it is against the 'school of thought' to do otherwise. I was also given a small pictoral demonstration of how the grave is dug and structured to ease decomposition, prevent the stench from coming out and protection from scavenging animals should there be any. I was part of a tradition that I was very honored to be a part of.
The calmness and the composure exhibited by the person I knew, whose kin was lying a few feet away as he greeted the mourners. Calmness which I'm not very sure I would be able to possess should we trade shoes, God forbid. I tried to pass on as much warmth as a hug and some hollow words could - I hope he's warm.
I wonder if 'he' saw us from above, perched upon a cloud. Wishful thinking, many would say and I would most likely agree.
Maybe I'm reading too much into this..
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Pursuit of Happiness
John Lennon wrote, "Happiness is a warm gun.." and millions have and are crooning it ever since.
Happiness..
Happiness is just another word for a feeling. Science explains it as a realease of endorphins in your brain that induces euphoria. Drugs such as morphine, heroine and cocaine are classic endorphin-releasing entities, which would more than explain the cause of such ever-growing addiction.
Happiness..
Happiness is sitting on a deck chair soaking in the rays in your porch after a heavenly joint.
Happiness is laughing over a rickety table with your 'family of nuts and bolts' over something inexplicable.
Happiness is hearing her breathe as she sleeps in your arms.
Happiness is a call thanking you for a job well done.
Happiness is sharing a story of mucking up an exam 8 yrs back to thunderous rapture.
Happiness is dancing in just your shorts all night long by the beach with the ones you love.
Happiness is seeing that smile, everytime.
Happiness is to see the sun rise, and to continue dancing by the beach with not a care.
Happiness is a first kiss under the starry sky.
Happiness is still being able to recollect the taste and the feel of it.
Happiness is seeing colors bounce off and the glee of it all.
Happiness is my baby and I miss my baby so..
Disclaimer: I really should stop borrowing other's titles.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
19:18
Black Crows are circling over my head.
The gypsies playin' her guitar all along.
From Sundown to Sunrise...
It's her smile, I search for.
The Thunder has begun,
The storm is gonna come..
There's a Shadow.
and here's a switch.
I have the 'X' marking the spot.
The ship is ready to sail.
The Sails are tattered though
and the rudder is out...
I can hear her sing..
Last time out it was a siren.
This time, I cannot afford to be wrong.
Eyes never lie and that is my belief.
The gypsy continues her haunting tune.
The moon rises, a bad moon rising.
But the stars are twinkling too.
Starry skies have always been kind to me.
Raise the anchor.
Turn off the switch.
No more shadows.
Just me and the darkness.
The darkness had scared me as a child. I had beaten it in my late teens and then I met those that brought light and the shadows. Their absence has left the lingering light still but brought out the shadows, those despairing shadows. Only now, I am not so afraid as I am lost.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Shaking Hands
They say one of the best ways to judge a man besides the quality of his shoes is the way he shakes his hand.
Some have a nice firm one, the kind that exudes confidence, calm and leaves you warm. Others shake it as if they have lost all blood in the arm and leave it hanging, makes one wonder if they never learnt that its bad manners to leave your dirty linen hanging in public. tch..
Much like their personality, their hand shakes. I've had a lot of very interesting and very varied hand-shakes. I've learnt from them all..
There was this one handshake in particular, it belonged to 'ck' and 'dh'.. It's origin, I don't remember but it felt like it was born with the universe and gained immortality. It was synonymous with a nice, smooth, easy, comfort ridden rush as it comes. Our bond was much the same. No effort at all and yet as embracing as a full-blown trip.
We learnt to kiss the sky and we learnt to dive into the abyss.
We crashed and we soared, got burnt and were reborn...
There have been many other hand-shakes, no doubt and they all had their importance but this is not their time. Theirs will come in due course. However, I miss that handshake. I have still got so many but this one's absence leaves me all prickly feet like the final missing piece in the collectors collectibles. I wish it and it's soul well for they were fellow trippies and they are family. I wish them the best of 'ying' and 'yang' and I hope to someday swap shakes with them before the curtain comes down on this play of ours.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
You and I
Come,
Come away with me..
Forget the destination.
Just You and I.
Pack your bags..
let's go.
Destination anywhere.
Just You and I.
We be good.
We be fine.
We be peachy as sun colored ripe peaches..
Just You and I.
Let's make love,
Let's sit by the waves,
Let's kiss under the setting sun into the smiling moon.
Just You and I.
The Earth will revolve around the Sun.
The Moon will revolve around the Earth.
Our love will revolve around us..
Just You and I...
Come away with me..
Forget the destination.
Just You and I.
Pack your bags..
let's go.
Destination anywhere.
Just You and I.
We be good.
We be fine.
We be peachy as sun colored ripe peaches..
Just You and I.
Let's make love,
Let's sit by the waves,
Let's kiss under the setting sun into the smiling moon.
Just You and I.
The Earth will revolve around the Sun.
The Moon will revolve around the Earth.
Our love will revolve around us..
Just You and I...
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Irony bringeth the iron man here
Oh, the pain I feel for some gain
Time and time again
To sway to a fluttering tune,
To orbit around the full moon
Oh, the pain I feel for a smile
To see her run into my arms, from a mile
The lone tear in my eye,
Always brings the rain from the sky
Oh, the pain I feel to cry a tear
For the one who broke my heart, the only one, too dear
Just when I wanted another day to pray
For me and you, against the fray
Oh, the pain I feel to smell you near
But to win another loss, I fear
Listening to the music of ten piano’s,
Wish you sit next to me watching a blooming rose
Oh, the pain I feel to kiss your eyes
As they close at sunset, a sonnet they reprise
To swim in the breeze from your hair,
To walk with you by the sea, painting the sand, I'll pay any fare.
Oh, the pain I feel to want to stay
Don’t let me let you get away
But to show you the magic of your touch
Through the sound of my voice, every time the sun comes up
Oh, the pain I feel to write better stories
Along with Mr. D, trudging along a bed of lilies,
Longing for one orchid, the one with the long stem
Looking into the horizon, I am now standing at the hem
Time and time again
To sway to a fluttering tune,
To orbit around the full moon
Oh, the pain I feel for a smile
To see her run into my arms, from a mile
The lone tear in my eye,
Always brings the rain from the sky
Oh, the pain I feel to cry a tear
For the one who broke my heart, the only one, too dear
Just when I wanted another day to pray
For me and you, against the fray
Oh, the pain I feel to smell you near
But to win another loss, I fear
Listening to the music of ten piano’s,
Wish you sit next to me watching a blooming rose
Oh, the pain I feel to kiss your eyes
As they close at sunset, a sonnet they reprise
To swim in the breeze from your hair,
To walk with you by the sea, painting the sand, I'll pay any fare.
Oh, the pain I feel to want to stay
Don’t let me let you get away
But to show you the magic of your touch
Through the sound of my voice, every time the sun comes up
Oh, the pain I feel to write better stories
Along with Mr. D, trudging along a bed of lilies,
Longing for one orchid, the one with the long stem
Looking into the horizon, I am now standing at the hem
Monday, July 13, 2009
Revolution over Yonder.
I aint got no gun.. I aint got no bombs..
just a head with hair all tangled and no comb..
Come hither ye mad punkette..
Let's paint that purple and pink with a dash of violet.
You get the scissors I ask for..?
Cut them strings, I'd like to stretch more..
When I walk beside you, I am the lesser man
I care not a dime nor a penny, not till the shit hits the fan.
the tunes are lulling me to a smooth awakening.
Some would call rabid dreaming..
when i tried to understand,
they just open up their hands...
They want me to dance..
They want me to prance..
They say it's folklore..
could it be red-tape and not much more.?
I'm an arm-chair philosopher
I aint got no heart(?)
I'm a poet.
I don't have a poem..
Come on in, Here's my boat
Im sure it'll float
just don't make a hole..
I don't fancy a cold.
just a head with hair all tangled and no comb..
Come hither ye mad punkette..
Let's paint that purple and pink with a dash of violet.
You get the scissors I ask for..?
Cut them strings, I'd like to stretch more..
When I walk beside you, I am the lesser man
I care not a dime nor a penny, not till the shit hits the fan.
the tunes are lulling me to a smooth awakening.
Some would call rabid dreaming..
when i tried to understand,
they just open up their hands...
They want me to dance..
They want me to prance..
They say it's folklore..
could it be red-tape and not much more.?
I'm an arm-chair philosopher
I aint got no heart(?)
I'm a poet.
I don't have a poem..
Come on in, Here's my boat
Im sure it'll float
just don't make a hole..
I don't fancy a cold.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Tick tock tick tock
Tick tock tick tock
Circa 2000
One me, lonely, alone, all at the same time
One mudi, one psycho, one friend, all at the same time
One prasad, one santa claus, one brother, one philosopher, all at the same time
One kadri, one waste, one retard, one companion, all at the same time
One zan, one bum, one confidante, one roomie, one swing, one palio, all at the same time
One raul, one pal, one ol’ timer, many battle scars, all at the same time
One bunch of no gooders, all stoned, all drunk, merry men, pretty women, all friends, all good timers, all at the same time
Tick tock tick tock
Circa 2009
One me, lonely, alone, all at the same time
Circa 2000
One me, lonely, alone, all at the same time
One mudi, one psycho, one friend, all at the same time
One prasad, one santa claus, one brother, one philosopher, all at the same time
One kadri, one waste, one retard, one companion, all at the same time
One zan, one bum, one confidante, one roomie, one swing, one palio, all at the same time
One raul, one pal, one ol’ timer, many battle scars, all at the same time
One bunch of no gooders, all stoned, all drunk, merry men, pretty women, all friends, all good timers, all at the same time
Tick tock tick tock
Circa 2009
One me, lonely, alone, all at the same time
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Rock-a-bye, My Baby Blue..
I see a field which was once a strawberry field..
I note a river-bank that was once flowing laughter..
I am here and for once I wish I wasn't.
Fancy suits are preludes to the beggar within.
The Sun is bright and the rain is pouring,
I try to smile through it all.
Remnants of a time not far gone.
Picture perfect and a contrast to be proud of.
Not one bit to be forgotten or not noticed.
It sparkles with magic like our bed-time tales.
I can hear the hum of music..
straining itself against the fabric of time.
Prickly eyes inturn cause them to cease
'A Mirage'.. I sigh.
The features have been replaced by laugh lines and crows feet
Reminders of a time before time.
"We were here" - says the engraving on the ruin
Dust has settled but the font is clear.
Maybe there is hope for us..
It hasn't stopped raining nor has it stopped shining.
I dont need anything more now.
I just want what I had.
'needs' and 'wants'; my two biggest enemies.
my two biggest saviours.
I see the tracks of my merry-mad gypsy troupe;
We promised we'd cross to trade war-stories.
We promised we'd live it to the brim and then over-flow.
Not far to go..
It's time to keep walking;
I should make as much distance as I can...
as long as the sun is shining and the rain is pouring..
For my rainbow smiles down on me.
---Fin---
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams...
----- W.B. Yeats.
I note a river-bank that was once flowing laughter..
I am here and for once I wish I wasn't.
Fancy suits are preludes to the beggar within.
The Sun is bright and the rain is pouring,
I try to smile through it all.
Remnants of a time not far gone.
Picture perfect and a contrast to be proud of.
Not one bit to be forgotten or not noticed.
It sparkles with magic like our bed-time tales.
I can hear the hum of music..
straining itself against the fabric of time.
Prickly eyes inturn cause them to cease
'A Mirage'.. I sigh.
The features have been replaced by laugh lines and crows feet
Reminders of a time before time.
"We were here" - says the engraving on the ruin
Dust has settled but the font is clear.
Maybe there is hope for us..
It hasn't stopped raining nor has it stopped shining.
I dont need anything more now.
I just want what I had.
'needs' and 'wants'; my two biggest enemies.
my two biggest saviours.
I see the tracks of my merry-mad gypsy troupe;
We promised we'd cross to trade war-stories.
We promised we'd live it to the brim and then over-flow.
Not far to go..
It's time to keep walking;
I should make as much distance as I can...
as long as the sun is shining and the rain is pouring..
For my rainbow smiles down on me.
---Fin---
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams...
----- W.B. Yeats.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Not so random musings..?
The CEO of the company I work in maintains a blog on the company intranet and the best part of it being, he doesn fill it with mumbo-jumbo; rather a concept/idea/musing that 'hits' him once a week (the frequency amazes me!) which he incorporates with life and business to make a valid point.
Normally, this kind of behaviour would draw guffaws from my end and snorting of the disdainful kind as I would mutter how snotty and pompous certain people upon reaching a level can get (despite the fact that the're reaching this level gives 'em all the right to). But not this time, well, there were the usual initial rumblings but it hasnt exploded and it's been 3 months since i've been following it. Very surprised.
The appearance of being snobbish and presumptious or a 'prick' is a feeling I'm quite acquainted with ..why? simply coz I AM one. I can just imagine the number of people who may have gagged on hearing my wise-cracks, my msgs.. my co-authored blog, even! I dont blame them one bit and sometimes I take sadistic pleasure out of it as well; I wonder if this was the reason why i had very few friends.
So, this got me thinking.. am I destined for greatness..? I mean I've got the attitude down pat. All I need is now to make it big; A life-long experience in being a top-notch manage - I've gotten almost all my work done by others without anybody revolting..too often; if that isn't people management or delegation. I don't know what is; I have the self-centred air smothering everyone around me; I have very expensive likes...
Rain down the confetti, roll out the benz.. here I come..!
* ....... *
hmm... I wish I was a best-selling writer instead.
Bleh!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Sweet Champagne and Humble Pies..
Today...
was the culmination of 2 major sporting events. One could not have come soon enough and the other came far too quickly even if it ended favourably.
I will NOT miss the IPL - It was alright, but give me Test Cricket anyday (unless the're playing on a spineless Batting Track where even the legendary Courtney Walsh could have scored a century).
I will DEFINITELY miss the BPL though. And even though my Club of close to 15 yrs won the Title; another 'heart-string puller' reached a new low - by getting relegated a division. I will shed a tear and more, likely in the confines of my own company.
As the lap of honours were taken some with tears of joy and others with tears of despair; It reminds me of how often Football resembles real life. One man's gain is always another man's loss and vice-versa - Not being philosophical, far from it. More along the lines of retrospection.
I wonder how many people may have gained or lost thanks to I and vice-versa.
tit for tat ..anyone?
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Make Love to my Ears, to my soul.. to my being.
In a little while...
You'll be dancing that dance with me in your sight.
In a little while...
We'll be watching the rain on a warm night.
My Girl, My Girl , My Girl..
Watch out for that puddle, dont step unknowingly;
Jump rather, like a child full up on glee.
Let's leave the lights on.. The Dark tends to scare me..
Hey Now.. Hey Now..
Do you feel the love in all that is holy
I got my jammies, lets go grab a guacamole..
Elvis is playing and the world’s a-rocking..
You got the pink boa, time to get those feet tapping.
I ain’t got no reason.. hell! Where’s the rhythm..
Let’s just scream and shout and twist for fun
There’s too much pain all aroun’..
Shut it all out and sway to the trambone…
Ideally, We would conclude for the moment with an orgasm to a killer guitar riff coupled with a trumpet solo a la Miles Davis.. aaah the beauty of all that is music.
You'll be dancing that dance with me in your sight.
In a little while...
We'll be watching the rain on a warm night.
My Girl, My Girl , My Girl..
Watch out for that puddle, dont step unknowingly;
Jump rather, like a child full up on glee.
Let's leave the lights on.. The Dark tends to scare me..
Hey Now.. Hey Now..
Do you feel the love in all that is holy
I got my jammies, lets go grab a guacamole..
Elvis is playing and the world’s a-rocking..
You got the pink boa, time to get those feet tapping.
I ain’t got no reason.. hell! Where’s the rhythm..
Let’s just scream and shout and twist for fun
There’s too much pain all aroun’..
Shut it all out and sway to the trambone…
Ideally, We would conclude for the moment with an orgasm to a killer guitar riff coupled with a trumpet solo a la Miles Davis.. aaah the beauty of all that is music.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Flight plan
A girl, she lit a fire.
In, a pot first and then his heart.
A thought, known and yet not in his mind.
Awakened it did, to your clear almond shaped eyes,
When they blinked with a smile, your SMILE.
Ah! Now, the magic had begun.
One moment, he's looking at you.
The next, you went to sleep.
Oh, what a beautiful moment that was.
Is. Will be.
An artist not, but a painter of art,
To paint a picture as beautiful as you.
In the candle glow, only your color glows.
When broken words became a meaning.
When the world showed some spirit.
When sound became music.
When they both wandered, first in talk and then in eyes.
When the dawn echoed the long night,
A night, which did not want to know the day.
When stars woke the dark night.
Only to see a few moments of twinkling eyes.
A sin beyond hell.
Again.
He carries his destiny in his eyes.
Not to know where the tomorrow lies.
Or what the yesterday has lead into.
Today’s the light, the shining one.
Silent whispers light it.
Sleepy yawns turning into laughter, brightens it.
But one had to fly away,
So did the other.
A sea in between, all to swim,
For her. For life. For them.
In, a pot first and then his heart.
A thought, known and yet not in his mind.
Awakened it did, to your clear almond shaped eyes,
When they blinked with a smile, your SMILE.
Ah! Now, the magic had begun.
One moment, he's looking at you.
The next, you went to sleep.
Oh, what a beautiful moment that was.
Is. Will be.
An artist not, but a painter of art,
To paint a picture as beautiful as you.
In the candle glow, only your color glows.
When broken words became a meaning.
When the world showed some spirit.
When sound became music.
When they both wandered, first in talk and then in eyes.
When the dawn echoed the long night,
A night, which did not want to know the day.
When stars woke the dark night.
Only to see a few moments of twinkling eyes.
A sin beyond hell.
Again.
He carries his destiny in his eyes.
Not to know where the tomorrow lies.
Or what the yesterday has lead into.
Today’s the light, the shining one.
Silent whispers light it.
Sleepy yawns turning into laughter, brightens it.
But one had to fly away,
So did the other.
A sea in between, all to swim,
For her. For life. For them.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Carnival of melodic decay, decorum and diatribe..
sitting on the couch and staring at the screen.
manic monstrosities bounce off the wall within the telly
the walls are plain and depict the carcass within
emptiness all around like vaccum suffocating the raging silence
Here's my crown of scars,
make it prick
make it count
run the blood, let it flow within
The pressure is intense. a tight fist to the cranium.
scream with me you deaf bastards, scream away the urge
cringing toes rake like a snake on cold glass.
Jump around. Jump around till you heart is in your hand and your eyes are heaven sent
I care not a dime but for the rage
fuck the machine
fuck the matter
fuck this .
Catatonic body houses the spasmotic mind
darting eyes hold no wonder but the beats of the empty soul
arched fingers like nimble robin hood's bow..
Scars for the world to see and invisible for the world to feel
Give me the music
Give me the power
Give me the feel
Take it all away...
manic monstrosities bounce off the wall within the telly
the walls are plain and depict the carcass within
emptiness all around like vaccum suffocating the raging silence
Here's my crown of scars,
make it prick
make it count
run the blood, let it flow within
The pressure is intense. a tight fist to the cranium.
scream with me you deaf bastards, scream away the urge
cringing toes rake like a snake on cold glass.
Jump around. Jump around till you heart is in your hand and your eyes are heaven sent
I care not a dime but for the rage
fuck the machine
fuck the matter
fuck this .
Catatonic body houses the spasmotic mind
darting eyes hold no wonder but the beats of the empty soul
arched fingers like nimble robin hood's bow..
Scars for the world to see and invisible for the world to feel
Give me the music
Give me the power
Give me the feel
Take it all away...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Home Sweet Home.
I'm home...
Family, roads, walls, corners, memories of a time centuries ago...
My bed once upon a time, my book shelf, my couch, my 'couch potato' blanket ...once upon a time. These walls, this house, home for 8 yrs. =) and now, I'm back...
I wonder what constitutes a home.. Where do I belong. Where do I come from.
Is being born there enough to constitute it as home..?
Is it where I currently stay ? Does it stop when I leave..?
I have a hundred places I could call home for they held and still do hold that meaning to me. Funny. I left a place with a thousand memories that I call home but the place I enter is home as well, I mean, I DID spend 17 yrs here in this land.
Would 'it' constitute any place where I have my mates, my love, my heart, my mind.. or does 'it' have to be the place which holds my body. I guess not, but I couldn't discount either, after all this is my place too.
I miss them all. I miss the colors. I miss the noise and I could go on forever, but like one of them mentioned, you could just miss a lazy afternoon sitting in the balcony staring into oblivion and he was, nay is right. I miss it all but I shall not 'sigh' and not just because of a very strong sibling law that has been passed of which I have already used my one digression. I shall smile instead.
=)
I am here, in this home hoping to create the path for a new home somewhere else with someone else, someone special. After all that is the ultimate dream of everyone now isn't it..? Ha! I could also include the jet settting lifestyle and the wine sipping festivals or the cohort of luxury cars not to mention the glitz and the glamour but it does come down to that now, don't it. A home.
I had this thought as I sat in the airport and I pushed it to the darkest recess of my mind and it stayed there till quite recently when I called a loved one and then received a call by a set of loved ones.
Ah! There is no point to this, I suppose a lot of muddled thoughts and I had to get this one out. Sue, This is also a musing of the muddled kind. See, how muddled it is. :)
hmmmm.... bleh..!
Family, roads, walls, corners, memories of a time centuries ago...
My bed once upon a time, my book shelf, my couch, my 'couch potato' blanket ...once upon a time. These walls, this house, home for 8 yrs. =) and now, I'm back...
I wonder what constitutes a home.. Where do I belong. Where do I come from.
Is being born there enough to constitute it as home..?
Is it where I currently stay ? Does it stop when I leave..?
I have a hundred places I could call home for they held and still do hold that meaning to me. Funny. I left a place with a thousand memories that I call home but the place I enter is home as well, I mean, I DID spend 17 yrs here in this land.
Would 'it' constitute any place where I have my mates, my love, my heart, my mind.. or does 'it' have to be the place which holds my body. I guess not, but I couldn't discount either, after all this is my place too.
I miss them all. I miss the colors. I miss the noise and I could go on forever, but like one of them mentioned, you could just miss a lazy afternoon sitting in the balcony staring into oblivion and he was, nay is right. I miss it all but I shall not 'sigh' and not just because of a very strong sibling law that has been passed of which I have already used my one digression. I shall smile instead.
=)
I am here, in this home hoping to create the path for a new home somewhere else with someone else, someone special. After all that is the ultimate dream of everyone now isn't it..? Ha! I could also include the jet settting lifestyle and the wine sipping festivals or the cohort of luxury cars not to mention the glitz and the glamour but it does come down to that now, don't it. A home.
I had this thought as I sat in the airport and I pushed it to the darkest recess of my mind and it stayed there till quite recently when I called a loved one and then received a call by a set of loved ones.
Ah! There is no point to this, I suppose a lot of muddled thoughts and I had to get this one out. Sue, This is also a musing of the muddled kind. See, how muddled it is. :)
hmmmm.... bleh..!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
nine
9 years of the decade.
9 lives of the cat.
9 lives of the sue, 4 lost.
9 years of blood and bond
9 friends.
9 joints.
9 minutes of the day.
9 hours of the day of laughter.
9 minutes walk to the hostel, from college
9 kms to
9 to 9 in and around the jungle.
9 to 9 in and around with the jingle in
9 is (1+2) * 3.
9 is (1*3) * 3.
9 is (3*1) * 3.
9 is (4-1) * 3.
9 is (2+1) * 3.
9 is (3) * 3.
9 is the 9 years of the decade.
* idum: crack the last para! :)
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Black Coffee and Red Wine...
Fear not, my lil bee..
if the flowers are late to bloom this year.
Fear not, my spring blossom..
if spring is a little delayed this time 'round.
It might be that much bit colder,
but the thoughts are warm as ember;
the future is still ours to make,
nothing else will matter as we have our cake.
We've searched high, We've searched low;
I searched in between, you searched around;
You looked for an inspiration, I looked for a muse.
Yes, We looked below and We looked above.
A word, a saying, a phrase, I pondered.
something that will stand the test of time,
one that we could reflect back and smile in wonder.
The 'piece de resistance' of my life.
A while it has been for the snow to thaw,
morning suns have come and evening suns have gone
to realize the 'piece de resistance' is but us
it took it's time but the mist is clear and autumn has set.
Clouds in the coffee and loopy butterfly swirls
Smoky wine filled with sneaky pecks
paper balls at unsuspecting head bangers
starry skies and a distinct voice over
Ah! we will have the valleys and we will have the hills
I dont mind either as long as I have you.
This is not mush nor is it sappy.
This is THAT very blue berry cheese cake.
So twirl that twirl and flounce with a skip
Smile that flashing smile with a hint of mystery.
The path is slippery but our balance is good
I will see you beyond the lake with tiny rose buds
forever and ever...
"I'll do my dreaming with my eyes wide open, and I'll do my looking back with my eyes closed"
- Arata, Tony.
if the flowers are late to bloom this year.
Fear not, my spring blossom..
if spring is a little delayed this time 'round.
It might be that much bit colder,
but the thoughts are warm as ember;
the future is still ours to make,
nothing else will matter as we have our cake.
We've searched high, We've searched low;
I searched in between, you searched around;
You looked for an inspiration, I looked for a muse.
Yes, We looked below and We looked above.
A word, a saying, a phrase, I pondered.
something that will stand the test of time,
one that we could reflect back and smile in wonder.
The 'piece de resistance' of my life.
A while it has been for the snow to thaw,
morning suns have come and evening suns have gone
to realize the 'piece de resistance' is but us
it took it's time but the mist is clear and autumn has set.
Clouds in the coffee and loopy butterfly swirls
Smoky wine filled with sneaky pecks
paper balls at unsuspecting head bangers
starry skies and a distinct voice over
Ah! we will have the valleys and we will have the hills
I dont mind either as long as I have you.
This is not mush nor is it sappy.
This is THAT very blue berry cheese cake.
So twirl that twirl and flounce with a skip
Smile that flashing smile with a hint of mystery.
The path is slippery but our balance is good
I will see you beyond the lake with tiny rose buds
forever and ever...
"I'll do my dreaming with my eyes wide open, and I'll do my looking back with my eyes closed"
- Arata, Tony.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Addictions from the Loony Bin...
Addiction:
Wikipedia says the aforementioned term is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion or excessive physical or psychological dependence.
The papers are all over this 'disease' (if i may term it so) on the latest addictions, their cures and the highs with the lows not to mention the inherent damage to our already damaged society.
This got me wondering on what my various addictions are and here due to immense boredom I list them out...
I am addicted to music
(No, I don't have any talent; a ear for music is all i can boast of)
I am addicted to food
(Good Food I might add, can be quite finicky about this)
I am addicted to pornography
(Yes, not afraid to admit this; I love good innovative erotica - keeps the mind fresh and young; also nothing beats a boring lazy afternoon than good porn)
I am addicted to the Telly
(Man's greatest invention. period. I can watch just about anything. Ask Sue, much to his great annoyance)
I am addicted to reading
(I'll read anything from scribbles on the back-ends of bus seats to doodles to books of almost any kind, restaurant menus, tv guides, obscurely old and decaying newspapers everything bar stuff that came in school text books - ironic).
I am addicted to checking my emails every 5 minutes.
(For the sheer excitement of getting a long mail. However, technology just plain scares me. I hope my life partner is more technologically competent and brave. I'm going to need her to be). :)
I am addicted to sappy soap operas - *Cripes, I'm a woman!*
(This however does not include the ridiculous kind that come on zee, sony or star plus in any way i might add).
Addiction is Football.
(even if it's watching a bunch of kids play in a narrow alley).
I am addicted to doodling, dawdling and rambling.
(a fascination of the holy trinity, I hope to carry all the way to my grave).
I am addicted to nonsense.
(More often than not this makes more sense to me than everything else).
I am addicted to sloth.
(FAVOURITE activity..!!)
I am addicted to being paranoid.
(does this qualify as an addiction or am i just plain 'mental'). *hmmm*
I am also addicted to this certain rainbow that fills up the sky with oh so pretty colors. This is one addiction i shall fight hard to keep not that i think it'll require much.
All in all, I love my addictions and a junkie is what I am. Thank the mighty Lord for that.
Wikipedia says the aforementioned term is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion or excessive physical or psychological dependence.
The papers are all over this 'disease' (if i may term it so) on the latest addictions, their cures and the highs with the lows not to mention the inherent damage to our already damaged society.
This got me wondering on what my various addictions are and here due to immense boredom I list them out...
I am addicted to music
(No, I don't have any talent; a ear for music is all i can boast of)
I am addicted to food
(Good Food I might add, can be quite finicky about this)
I am addicted to pornography
(Yes, not afraid to admit this; I love good innovative erotica - keeps the mind fresh and young; also nothing beats a boring lazy afternoon than good porn)
I am addicted to the Telly
(Man's greatest invention. period. I can watch just about anything. Ask Sue, much to his great annoyance)
I am addicted to reading
(I'll read anything from scribbles on the back-ends of bus seats to doodles to books of almost any kind, restaurant menus, tv guides, obscurely old and decaying newspapers everything bar stuff that came in school text books - ironic).
I am addicted to checking my emails every 5 minutes.
(For the sheer excitement of getting a long mail. However, technology just plain scares me. I hope my life partner is more technologically competent and brave. I'm going to need her to be). :)
I am addicted to sappy soap operas - *Cripes, I'm a woman!*
(This however does not include the ridiculous kind that come on zee, sony or star plus in any way i might add).
Addiction is Football.
(even if it's watching a bunch of kids play in a narrow alley).
I am addicted to doodling, dawdling and rambling.
(a fascination of the holy trinity, I hope to carry all the way to my grave).
I am addicted to nonsense.
(More often than not this makes more sense to me than everything else).
I am addicted to sloth.
(FAVOURITE activity..!!)
I am addicted to being paranoid.
(does this qualify as an addiction or am i just plain 'mental'). *hmmm*
I am also addicted to this certain rainbow that fills up the sky with oh so pretty colors. This is one addiction i shall fight hard to keep not that i think it'll require much.
All in all, I love my addictions and a junkie is what I am. Thank the mighty Lord for that.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Crazy Genetics.
I found a sibling through a brother;
this brother shared my blood more now than before..
We tipped our mugs, my rainbow and I.
The crazy two not far behind..
Whose parents are to blame, we know not.
luckily we didn't have to wait for the Kumbh Mela;
Just a lazy tub o' lard and a home away from home,
What started with nervous titter, took off to boisterous fantasies
G-Strings, pink butterfly wings;
A tall stainless pole and a sparkling corset
Tiny teeth, more creepy than friendly pats
Some got naked, some built a reputation.
We wondered, we pondered;
We spoke without speaking;
Love was noticed, bonds were made
mugs were passed all around..
Now we all set forth on our trail,
a lumpy heart and a heavy throat;
I know we'll meet again, sooner than later
for crazy people tend to revolve always and ever.
This comes from an evening spent a while back but the memory of that day remains as fresh and wonderous as hot oven-baked scones..
this brother shared my blood more now than before..
We tipped our mugs, my rainbow and I.
The crazy two not far behind..
Whose parents are to blame, we know not.
luckily we didn't have to wait for the Kumbh Mela;
Just a lazy tub o' lard and a home away from home,
What started with nervous titter, took off to boisterous fantasies
G-Strings, pink butterfly wings;
A tall stainless pole and a sparkling corset
Tiny teeth, more creepy than friendly pats
Some got naked, some built a reputation.
We wondered, we pondered;
We spoke without speaking;
Love was noticed, bonds were made
mugs were passed all around..
Now we all set forth on our trail,
a lumpy heart and a heavy throat;
I know we'll meet again, sooner than later
for crazy people tend to revolve always and ever.
This comes from an evening spent a while back but the memory of that day remains as fresh and wonderous as hot oven-baked scones..
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Till we meet again...
Last Night, I bade Goodbye to a friend, a close friend.
I shall remember the last few moments, sitting in the backseat of our car parked in front of hers, after one last trip together to a place I had called home for close to 7 yrs. We had laughed, we had eaten, we had tipped our mugs and we had avoided the fateful subject.
Ironic how the last song we heard together (for now) would be 'American Pie' by Don McLean; As we held hands for reassurance and sang along, I could not help but reminisce the time spent together.. the highs, the lows and the valleys.
As the song faded and we hugged, passing an unspoken word for the pleasure, gratitude and joy of moments, emotions.. a life shared together came the haunting tune of 'Save Tonight'....
Good bye 'My Anchor', I'll see you soon....
I shall remember the last few moments, sitting in the backseat of our car parked in front of hers, after one last trip together to a place I had called home for close to 7 yrs. We had laughed, we had eaten, we had tipped our mugs and we had avoided the fateful subject.
Ironic how the last song we heard together (for now) would be 'American Pie' by Don McLean; As we held hands for reassurance and sang along, I could not help but reminisce the time spent together.. the highs, the lows and the valleys.
As the song faded and we hugged, passing an unspoken word for the pleasure, gratitude and joy of moments, emotions.. a life shared together came the haunting tune of 'Save Tonight'....
Good bye 'My Anchor', I'll see you soon....
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tribute - to the one who taught me my first cuss word and shaped my heart.
mama, gimme one last kiss tonight,
your baby boy is growing up, dead right..
Hey mama, come dance one dance with me,
hold me tight and lets twirl like it was meant to be..
mama, remember those nights of hot cocoa,
ha ha's with sniffles and food fights galore,
Hey mama, smile that smile and light that glint,
you lit the fire and you replaced the flint...
I went away, to search for my light..
I found anchors and myself, up for a fight,
I found a unicorn, to lose it and not want it any more
I found an angel who, is precious and is my rainbow..
Ma, you warned me of the bad and the ugly,
but you forgot the devils within, surely..
I found my mud throwers, and i got dirty, what luck.
they slung, and i slung and we laughed in the muck.
I may not knock as much, I may not dial so much
We may not complete ones thoughts as such.
but we share the same fire albeit for different races,
Just smile and wave ma, i'll take care of the bases..
To the giant who danced with the devil in blue shorts and lives to tell the tale with a smile...
... so far :)
Much love.
your baby boy is growing up, dead right..
Hey mama, come dance one dance with me,
hold me tight and lets twirl like it was meant to be..
mama, remember those nights of hot cocoa,
ha ha's with sniffles and food fights galore,
Hey mama, smile that smile and light that glint,
you lit the fire and you replaced the flint...
I went away, to search for my light..
I found anchors and myself, up for a fight,
I found a unicorn, to lose it and not want it any more
I found an angel who, is precious and is my rainbow..
Ma, you warned me of the bad and the ugly,
but you forgot the devils within, surely..
I found my mud throwers, and i got dirty, what luck.
they slung, and i slung and we laughed in the muck.
I may not knock as much, I may not dial so much
We may not complete ones thoughts as such.
but we share the same fire albeit for different races,
Just smile and wave ma, i'll take care of the bases..
To the giant who danced with the devil in blue shorts and lives to tell the tale with a smile...
... so far :)
Much love.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Me, me, me ... and I
I walk around this enclosure I call Home and all I can think of is myself; my missing rainbow, my directionless career, my third-party vendor status, my lack of understanding of all things supposedly important, my inability to be understood by others rather those I call family. Surprisingly or rather not, I am obsessed with myself.
I wonder how selfish I am.
I wonder if this is normal. I wonder if I even care to put it up on a public post that can be viewed by people I may or not care about, as I lay bare my insides.
The realist in me.. however small, wants to put his head down and get 'responsible' in life, for once;however, mundane that may be. And at the same time, the idealist in me wants to continue this life of meandering as I explore people, places and experiences.
Who do I listen to?
the dying idealist or the strengthening adult..
Do I have a choice?
Each one provides me with something. Each one takes away something that I am.
What do I want; What do I not need.
How selfish is love?
If I love the person and want her to be with me, will I love her enough to let her go her way when she has to? I like to think I would, is that love or is it just me consoling myself.
How selfish are emotions?
Every one of them revolves around me and me alone.
Some say, 'selfish' is being obsessed with oneself irrespective of others.
I wonder how selfish I am and if i give two hoots whatever the answer may be.
Note: This is an old post/thought that failed to make it to the blog, for reasons unknown. I have moved on from this state though and I now wander with a smile as goofy as one on morphine...
I wonder how selfish I am.
I wonder if this is normal. I wonder if I even care to put it up on a public post that can be viewed by people I may or not care about, as I lay bare my insides.
The realist in me.. however small, wants to put his head down and get 'responsible' in life, for once;however, mundane that may be. And at the same time, the idealist in me wants to continue this life of meandering as I explore people, places and experiences.
Who do I listen to?
the dying idealist or the strengthening adult..
Do I have a choice?
Each one provides me with something. Each one takes away something that I am.
What do I want; What do I not need.
How selfish is love?
If I love the person and want her to be with me, will I love her enough to let her go her way when she has to? I like to think I would, is that love or is it just me consoling myself.
How selfish are emotions?
Every one of them revolves around me and me alone.
Some say, 'selfish' is being obsessed with oneself irrespective of others.
I wonder how selfish I am and if i give two hoots whatever the answer may be.
Note: This is an old post/thought that failed to make it to the blog, for reasons unknown. I have moved on from this state though and I now wander with a smile as goofy as one on morphine...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Blues of a different shade...
Wind ruffling my hair and in my face,
Soft smooth music flits onto my ears
Doesn't take much as my mind wanders,
Thoughts as flimsy as silky lace,
The sun peeks out,
a tongue in the expanse of it's mouth.
It's breezy, like a caressing whisper,
perfect for a hand in hand canter..
Half closed eyes, dim the lights but take in the sights.
hands by my side, empty and morose; solitary kites..
the nerves are numbed and not an intoxicant around,
lolling along like a loose bolt on shaky ground..
I wonder where we're going, unsure and suddenly uncaring
I did not want this to stop, like many other things in my being
Alas, the fat lady did sing and down came the house of cards
Am I as selfish as one can be or is it just a matter of lonesome hearts..
I wonder how important a name is
Some say we can work around this
Others say, 'what's in a name?'
Apparently, a whole shit lot that can maim.
I miss my rainbow with colors so bright and different hue..
There's so much color outside, yet all i see are shades of grey
I shiver, not from the cold but from the absence of the warmth
The memories I conjure in a bid to keep me warm and poised.
Distance, the eternal enemy...
Should we fight and hold on or give up and let go..
Funny how Love tends to be cruel and heartless..
Let's sing, dance and be the plastic bag on a windy day...
Soft smooth music flits onto my ears
Doesn't take much as my mind wanders,
Thoughts as flimsy as silky lace,
The sun peeks out,
a tongue in the expanse of it's mouth.
It's breezy, like a caressing whisper,
perfect for a hand in hand canter..
Half closed eyes, dim the lights but take in the sights.
hands by my side, empty and morose; solitary kites..
the nerves are numbed and not an intoxicant around,
lolling along like a loose bolt on shaky ground..
I wonder where we're going, unsure and suddenly uncaring
I did not want this to stop, like many other things in my being
Alas, the fat lady did sing and down came the house of cards
Am I as selfish as one can be or is it just a matter of lonesome hearts..
I wonder how important a name is
Some say we can work around this
Others say, 'what's in a name?'
Apparently, a whole shit lot that can maim.
I miss my rainbow with colors so bright and different hue..
There's so much color outside, yet all i see are shades of grey
I shiver, not from the cold but from the absence of the warmth
The memories I conjure in a bid to keep me warm and poised.
Distance, the eternal enemy...
Should we fight and hold on or give up and let go..
Funny how Love tends to be cruel and heartless..
Let's sing, dance and be the plastic bag on a windy day...
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