The Words That Never Were..

"There is a method to my madness. A science to my sophistication. Basking in the glorious sunshine brings a guaranteed smile to my face! Long may it blossom!" - N

This quote came accompanied with a glorious landscape cum self-portrait photograph on my news-feed in a popular social-networking site. It came and vanished without my noticing it albeit, not until much later. Unsurprisingly, and even more importantly thankfully, it had been spotted by a number of individuals one of whom was my fellow gypsy bonded and hounded by love, blood and experiences. The Top Kind.

From within, began a conversation between them of mutual respect towards the gift of words. It continued the cultivation of a once-asked request pertaining to us sharing our platform with N, so as to allow her to impart her words, her views, her angst and her rambles.  The gypsy responded highlighting his desire and our excitement to having her on-board while mentioning the general theme of this outlet revolved around our inspiration and marvel towards life, love, the soul and the sky. I could not have put it across any better and I am glad it was he who sowed the seeds.

Things however, didn't entirely go to plan. A week later, as we slumbered out of our beds, some with a glaring hang-over, others with an impending gloom over a long day ahead ore general boredom; trickled in news that N had crossed over. The reason behind or the means to this are irrelevant. All that mattered at this moment was that it had happened and she had passed on.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross theorized that there are 5 stages to grief and while some of us knew her intimately, and others had just come across in a brief moment, the impact was there for all to feel and deal with however best possible. Some skipped through the stages in a hurry while others lingered irrespective, of who well they may have known N. But, I can fairly ascertain an impact was felt everywhere.

I do not know N intimately enough to wax lyrically about her being, her persona, her dreams, aspirations, fears or the unknown quotient. Yet, it saddened me greatly of the opportunity missed to have shared more laughs, reprehensible ideas, maybe an adventure or just a longer peek into the psyche of another rambler. It is a loss. For all.

It also brought along with it the ever-familiar cloud of mortality which I am all so keen to sweep under the carpet and the dread of not realizing the promise of whatsoever potential. It soon however, gave way to a fantastic euphoria of being alive and still be able to marvel at the ever-present miracles around and within. It helped let go of many restraints and a few regrets which may come back in a darker and more vulnerable moment but for now, it helped. 

This is the one positive I can take out from this entirely dark period and I guess the more I say, lesser the justice to a fellow writer, thinker and provocateur.

"I live each day thinking it could be my last, I so enjoy the blue sky, grey sky, the sun, the rain. I'm still passionate about making a difference someday, small and big. Life moves on and you embrace it." - N

Safe travels, fellow Gypsy. The only solace herein, is that hopefully your soul has found a better universe for your energy to flow.