The Missing.

"I've lost it.!!" she screamed.

"I've lost it and I can't fucken find it.!!" even louder this time. I looked at her with half-awake eyes and a disinterested belief. This was all too familiar and one that I had invariably and voluntarily desensitized myself from.

I propped myself on one elbow and stared at her standing by the bed with a disheveled look and eyes wild as fire. I knew she hadn't lost it but as is the case to each, their 'missing's' are more profound and vast than for the world.

"Look under the rock's or between the waves. Listen to the birds or the laughter from beyond. Maybe even smell the smell of happiness or sadness", I said as I crawled upto her stony posture. She looked back at me with vacant eyes devoid of the fire which had burnt so vividly only a few moments and much of our life together. This caught me off guard. Whenever we got lost, this was what brought us back but not anymore.

Something was definitely amiss here.

I knew it was important to breathe, to sit and to calm down. What I couldn't was to make us do exactly that. Sometimes, the body just has to follow a different route as against the mind. This looked like one of those times.

We did eventually breathe and we eventually calmed down but not before the heavy pall of acceptance had descended upon us. It was missing and there was not a clue to be found on how to find it...


Note: I have heard somewhere that a truly great writer doesn't just write the tragedy around him in the most eloquent way but in fact does that and yet manages to show the glimmer of hope to the reader. That, it was said  is the sign of a truly great writer.

Stormy Seas of Calm.

Crowds. Heavy manic crowded places.


Where, the faces merge to form a blur and sound peaks to a crescendo. Walk till the thoughts fuse to a single circular train of thought and we lose count of where the 'start' and where the 'end' reside.


That's what we need in these times of storm. Like a searing hot shower something to numb the disruptions and drown the confusion. We know what we want even if it is out of stock for now. We know what it will cost even if it is beyond our means.


Let us put our head down. Tuck our hands in. Let us walk. 


Walk without a destination or rhyme till the feet lose the feel. There's hell in between my ears and we need to quieten these screams. Stop these churning wheels. The kind that set in motion a movie we do not want to see and the credits we know only too well.


It's these crowds of strangers that I look for. Where no one knows my name and definitely not my song.


.
..
...


It's been a while and we have calmer tides now. 


With calmness, comes the unnerving realizations that what is, truly is against all belief. And with that, comes the bitter-sweet wave of acceptance, the kind that has been the aim of this journey.

We take a look outside the glass house and the bright golden yolk has emerged from within but it is still grey and shrouded in doubt and faith. 


Things have changed. Things may never be the same. But then again, things have always evolved, as it metamorphoses into something unique capable of titillating the most ardent of skeptics. 


It will take its time as everything does but there must be hope for a better wind. It's all we've ever had, from cradle to grave.