Today,I

One day Compromise met me and asked me "Who do you think I am"? I did not know the answer until I met Convince. Convince told me, " You build a thought. You believe in it. You build me. You change your thought.A situation makes you do it and I become Compromise after you allow me to do so". Today I compromise on convincing myself..


Today I’m held in between a Yesterday and tomorrow.
Not knowing where my now is.
A sonnet of thoughts flutter in my distant memory,
Of better times, of then, of a now.
Of a time when I could scream louder than I thought I could.
A time, when the lack of wings never stopped a journey to a haven.

Today I’m held in between a truth and the reality.
A bygone time had shown a life which I knew as the truth.
It ceases to exist now, as I wonder why.
Maybe I failed to read the vision of the growing time,
Maybe time grew on me before I could read.
But my sight today is dazed, which is a reality.

Today I’m held in between music and sound.
A chapter of notes that once rhymed with my thoughts,
Seem to have formed crooked lines on paper.
A paper that has found a place in the book of my life,
Against my will and belief.
A new sound I search for, one that will rhyme with today.

Today I’m held in between a present and a gift.
The present is my today, which is empty.
A hope and a dream are the gifts of my birth.
I wish to embrace the present as much as I need my today.
But my true gift will be a need, a need that will define.
Define an existence that has been caught by some others.

But I promise to never let it be hunted.
As I look beyond now,
Staying in my today,
And dreaming the dream,
That taught me to live,
That showed me my now.
And realize the gift of the ‘is’,
And not the ‘will be’.

Rum, Cigarettes, Apple Pie and A Kiss

There are some things in this 'life' or rather 'world' of ours that are considered bad, sinful, taboo or just plain wrong. I don't intend to question or justify or even rationalize but rather just wonder. The 'act' itself is looked down as a one-way ticket to hell, an act of cowardice, quitting, giving up, throwing in the towel et al. and it may well be so but have we ever thought as to why it still thrives? Maybe it's for that one second of freedom to a lifetime of bondage or the need to jump the fence. What follows is not an advocate nor is it something that derides. Just something that I happened to fumble across...

~Intro
Wonderful sunny day, a hint of cloud but not of rain,
a breeze to rustle your hair but not to make you wince...
It was a day that makes you smile and feel gald to be alive...
A day when the flowers lean to you and you see her smile in every smile.
---------- Interlude ------------
A 1968 Ford Shelby GT 500KR lies on the drive way, waiting...
waiting to rear like an untamed buck for that one last stretch,
waiting to kiss the sky as many times it took to finally get some tongue...
But wait it will; till time has lost its meaning...

He had lived life on his own terms and he wasn't about to live on theirs.
So what if he couldn't ever trip or limp or walk for that matter;
So what if he could never feel the wind in his hair..
SO FUCKING WHAT?!?

This isn't how it was meant to end but this is how it will;
Life was always meant to be short and was meant to be dodged...
Little pieces of plastic with colors of the rainbow.;
as he clutches them, it reminds him of his favorite candy...

Life was good and now it was time to test the myth..
the myth of the other side; if only he had had time to bid farewell.
As he munches the tiny capsules, he lays his head back and closes his eyes
A gold coin over each eyelid buys himself a one way ticket to Hades

* If only...*
--------- Interlude ------------
She sits there on her bed; bare legs feel the wooden floor beneath
the one constant thats seen her through the good, the bad and the ugly.
It's held enough bodies yet it stays cold; A tale it shares with it's mistress..
But it wasn't always so nor she...

Slim pretty wrists now have a thin red line,
each drawn with care and precision.
Not long from now, the color spreads and with it brings the cold.
Cold that is accompanied not by chill but by a warmth.

Peace beckons, with open arms...
Like a mother's embrace.
As she drifts away, she remembers that 'first kiss';
wishes she could taste it, breathe it, smell it; one last time...

* Ah! that first kiss *
---------- Interlude -------------
The king of the jungle views his conquests;
and he reflects his defeat;
Things hadn't gone as planned
and worse than what had been feared.

A house on top of the concrete jungle,
overlooking a wonderous patch of nature;
In their quest to preserve it stood a sign...
one that warned frolickers to keep off the grass,

He had never been there in his odyssey to get to the top
now it was far too late and much more...
An educated illiterate he is;
Rich with man's riches yet unable to 'buy' any joy...

As he contemplates his leap of faith,
a smile makes an appearance - *So much for keeping off the grass*
He had always wanted to fly like a bird as a child;
He had finally got his wish.

*Wheee...*
~Outro
You can hear the beats..
You can hear the rhythm..
You can hear the chorus..
Now listen to the silence.

Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, to kill oneself)
* Nearly one million people worldwide kill themselves annually - No 1 Leading cause of death.
* An estimated 10 to 20 million attempt to kill themselves every year.
* It is estimated that 12-20% of suicides are accompanied by a note.
* Religion has derided it, repelled it, expected it and demanded it...